Quitters collect here...

I remember I got a random email in January this year. I had made an attempt to quit smoking around that time and I blogged about how I had quit. Apparently someone read that post and thought I had quit smoking successfully then when I really hadn't. So I was never able to answer the email. To be perfectly honest, I don't think I am currently in a position to advise on how to quit smoking, since my most successful attempt was also in vain. I intend to try to quit again (and I will never quit trying); till then, I will just share the email here.

Hey man,

You don't know me, and I dont know you. This is a fake email address, and that ain't my real name.

But I need your help. You quit smoking right. Its in that vein.

The guys I hang around with smoke, and till last semester, I was staunch against not smoking, but this sem, I dunno what happened, but I started, (half cos of the insanely cheap duty free cigs these guys had got). I thought that as long as I dont start buying packs, I wont start smoking 'proper'. Well, the duty free ones are over and I bought a pack today.

I cant even give a reason to why I started. Absolutely no explanation. Last week I decided that it was not worth it and that I wont smoke.

Apparently, that dint work, and 3 days later, I was smoking again. Today I bought a pack. Weekend, I smoked enough. (6 in a day is more than enough for me!)

I feel that Im getting hooked onto em, that too just for a few minutes of kick that the cigarette gives.

Fuck man, really, what do I do... Its tough being around these guys who smoke, my best friends.... but will power is something that's failed me, quite a few times now.

A month of smoking, i doubt its done any real harm to me yet, and I seriously dont wanna get hooked.. but I feel im getting hooked..

Please dude, if u can take some time out, and reply to this mail... ill be grateful..

Thanks a lot dude...

Marcos

P.S.: like i said, that aint my real name. This email isn't even how I type. Identity secrecy is a must.

To burn or not to burn

My previous attempt to quit smoking was quite successful (7.5 weeks!) until the time I got my hands on a carton of cigarettes - a generous gift from my sister. This is the fourth week since I started to smoke again.

Now, try as I might, I know that I can not blame my sister for this unsuccessful attempt. My self-control comes to be the culprit. After all, I did avoid smoking in spite of having a full carton under my nose for one whole week - until I smoked that 'fatal' cigarette. And then another. And another. And...

The holy month of Ramadan has arrived, which means I can't eat, drink or smoke from dawn till dusk everyday. In a way, it's like quitting smoking every day for a good number of hours (14).

On one hand I could use my belief in Islam and this holy month to help me try to quit smoking once again. But on the other hand what gets me through the day is the dream of smoking that one cigarette after Iftar or 'breaking fast' when the nicotine level in my blood is at its lowest.

So now I sit here in my room writing this at 2 am, when the deadline to eat, drink and smoke as much as I want approaches in a little more than two hours.

I am contemplating if I should go and burn another $11.60 to buy a pack or not.



And you know what, I think I'll buy just one more pack.

Damnit.