Monday, December 19, 2011

The War has taken to Facebook now

Join the War On Smoking on Facebook! Click here to 'like' us - like they often say - if you can't beat them, join them! 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Ex-smoker's diary

I take pride in the achievements of others, especially when it pertains to kicking the nicotine cancer stick. Here's a piece from DG (Usman), a good friend, eccentric colleague and a hard-willed geek.



DG (Usman)'s Quit Smoking Story:

You wake up with a shiver, the darkness takes it time to set in. You take a deep breath, smack your lips and get out of the sheets. You sit on the edge for the longest time waiting for the ringing in your head to stop. You try to breathe, only one lung seems functional, electric fucking jolts in your chest. FUCK. Breathe slow, breathe.

And so it begins. Today is the tomorrow of yesterday. And you fucking hate it.

Getting up, dressing up, going to wherever.

Greet people, meet people, put up a smile, wince at them, whisper vulgarities and the day is still young.

Go to the “smoking room”. Pat your pockets, feel the crisp packet of Davidoff’s, the lighter and a packet of supari, to kill the smell after the cigarette.

Comfortable on a sofa, pull the table close, the ash tray closer. Pull out a cigarette, pull out the lighter, fire it up, light it up.

Inhale. Deep.

Bitter smoke, bitter taste and you try to smile. Nicotine will make everything alright.

Tilt your head back and close your eyes.

NO!

You fall off a cliff, plunge hard into a black pool of filth, lungs fill up with acid and your attempts to scream are muffled by smoke.

Open your eyes again, pay attention to the chatter, try to smile, try to talk.

The bitterness seeps in from the bottom of your stomach and boils up like a volcano trying to lift the 10 ton iron block in your stomach. It fails.

You try to be fair, you try to be kind, you try to be nice to people. But you can’t. The chatter grows louder in your ears and the filth finds every vein, every nerve, every muscle and starts to strain it. An old unfamiliar pain. A blind man taking a walk in the forest, midnight unpleasantness.

Stub it finally. End it. Stop feeling like a 70 year old impotent douche bag.

Get back to whatever you were doing, smelling like a chimney,  everyone maintains a distance. Utilize the supari, munch it, chew it, roll it around for a long time without purpose or intent. Swallow the sickly paste and drink a glass of water.

Water. Burns through the gums, a stream of glass shards down the neck.

The phone rings and you jump. Blood fades away from your veins and the hammers knock on the heartbeat. So scared that you don’t even want to close your eyes. You can’t even close your eyes if you wanted to. Coz you’re just scared. Your eyes burn with pain. But you won’t give in. Coz you’re scared.
And then you go back “outside”, you go to the “smoking room”. You go anyfuckingplace where you would supposedly  find peace and solace for the 6 minutes you smoke.

But you don’t want to smoke. You know you will feel like shit. You know you will tumble into the filth pit and you know you the 10 ton block will fall hard at the bottom of your stomach.

But you can’t stop. You want to smoke. You don’t want to quit. WHY? Why the fuck would you torture yourself? Is this self injury? Is this rebellion? Is this hate? Is this an escape?
NO! NO! Please NO!

But you light up one anyway. Feels like kissing a shotgun. Get shot down with every puff. Every inhale fucks you up a bit more. Inch by inch, bit by bit an anxiety builds up and washes over you like a panic attack you don’t deserve.

Eyes swell up, throat tightens and the world seems to have come to an end.

Stub it. You’re done. Repeat this ritual 6 times a day. One after every meal, one after every cup of tea.

Better living through a Nine Inch Nails song. Better living being a Nine Inch Nails song.

I got my head but my head is unraveling
Can't keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling
I got my heart but my heart's no good
You're the only one that's understood
I come along but I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go but you reaching back and shaking me
Turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky
The more I give to you the more I die!

But I don’t want to die. I just want to live.

So you stop. Don’t smoke. Just stop. Don’t smoke. Stay away from smokers.

Does it work?

You wake up with a shiver, the darkness takes it time to set in. You take a deep breath, smack your lips and get out of the sheets. You sit on the edge for the longest time waiting for the ringing in your head to stop. You try to breathe. Your lungs fill up with sweet cool air, every inch of your lungs comforts the air that goes in. and you let out. Feels good. This is going to be a good day. Lets go!